Seeking Your Face

I seem to be forever discovering how very much I have to work on. And yet, there is no discouragement or shame in that because I am safe in Jesus.

I was thinking last night about false idols, and how seemingly innocuous they can be. How we might not even recognize them as such.

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that God won’t allow us to have false idols—that He will burn them to the ground until He resumes Lordship over our lives. As painful as it might be for God to discipline me, I want that. I want, more than anything, to live right with Him.

Plus, I know that no matter what He takes away, no matter what He is forced to burn to the ground, better things await me. He is a master at rebuilding. Remember, God made a person out of nothing more than dust and His breath. (How beautiful that humanity started with the very breath of the Almighty!). He made the whole world with just His words.

However, I think it’s really easy for me to allow other’s voices, especially my sister’s, to be bigger than God’s. It’s not a matter of “worshipping” my sister, but a matter of convenience. It’s easier to bend to her wishes, to spend evenings with her instead of God. “He will understand if I don’t have time to spend with Him tonight,” I think. It’s easier to apologize to my understanding and forgiving God than to rock the boat with my sister.

But that’s not fair to Him. And that is not how I want to live.

I was talking that over with God last night when I realized I made it to bed too late to have time to spend with Him. Certainly my evening wasn’t so busy that I couldn’t have made time for Him, I chose not to because my sister wanted my attention.

And it occurred to me that the reason I so often allow her to call the shots is because I see her as my primary opportunity for comfort and love, and I don’t want to jeopardize that. And so, I willingly trade in time with God for her love and comfort, even though I know that no person’s love compares to the love of the Lord. I trade in Love for humanity’s version of it.

God promises to meet us when we come to Him! He isn’t just able to provide comfort, He IS comfort! He is more than able to provide love, He IS love!

I think I tend to do whatever is easiest. Not rocking the boat with my sister? Easier than excusing myself to spend time with God.

And shamefully, sometimes spending time with God feels like work. Sitting in front of the TV? Easier than seeking the face of God.

But it isn’t supposed to feel like work! Jesus spent hours with His Father. He wasn’t bored. To Him, it didn’t feel like work. It felt like comfort. It felt like Love.

It felt like rest.

He calls the weary and brokenhearted to Him. He promises to quench the thirst of those who seek Him.

It isn’t supposed to feel like work.

And when I’m with Him, there’s nowhere I’d rather be. I know from experience that He truly is all that He promises to be.

So why do I still live like I don’t believe that?

I think we are born hungry- needing things like love and comfort.

And I think God did that on purpose, I think he WIRED us that way because He didn’t want us to be able to be completely satisfied with what the world has to offer- He wants us to be satisfied in Him alone.

He wanted to give us a reason to seek Him.

I think a lot of people never get to the place of seeking God’s face and discovering that He keeps His promises. I think they grow disillusioned, bitter, cynical, angry. Their efforts at trying to find or create fullness of life haven’t worked out. And so they decide there must not be any more, that they are destined to live dissatisfied and unfulfilled. And they quiet the part of themselves, the part of themselves placed there by their Creator, that whispers, “Don’t give up. There IS more.”

The voice of God never stops calling us to believe there’s more. But the world is always going to disappoint. We have to find our “more” in Him alone.

And He promises that in Him we will find all that we need. This I know to be true; I have experienced it.

Thank you, Abba, that You keep Your promises. Thank You that all that You do is for our ultimate good. And the ultimate good of Your Kingdom.

Lord, I believe You are worth “rocking the boat” for. You are worth leaving the boat for- as Peter demonstrated. Only, unlike Peter, help me to trust You so fully that, when I step from the boat, I don’t sink.

Help me to do life with my eyes on Your face.

Help me to do life running across the surface of the water after You.

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