Things That Keep You Afloat

She looked like an animal. Wild-eyed, teeth bared.

“She’s controlling me with her mind!” she screamed to the cop. “She’s only seventeen! She’s lying! Her name is Heidi Klum and her mom’s name is Michelle Obama!”

Two days prior, I looked at her and talked to her and knew her.

This day, she was a stranger before my eyes.

911 was called. Emergency personnel came.

“You’re not going to quit, are you?” my coworker asked, obviously seeing emotion on my face and being unable to read it.

No, I’m not quitting. I am more convinced than ever that this work I’m doing is important. To look wild-eyed people in the eyes and not look away or run, but to feel tender-hearted compassion for them? That’s important.

My coworker said she saw paramedics laughing at the scene unfolding before them. Laughing. No, there’s nothing funny about this. This is sad. Not pathetic, but tragic. Sad.

I wished I could fix it. I wished my relationship with her could serve as some sort of flotation device, something to help her silence the crazy in her head. I wished she could lock her eyes on mine and know I’m real and I’m not going anywhere. And maybe her head is full of things about FBI agents and having her brain hacked, but I’m real and I care, and I wished in that moment, somehow, that could matter.

At one point, I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and be like, “Actually, just take us both. Let’s just allllll go to the hospital.”

Victory happens in the choosing.

God isn’t holding out on me.

He is not deaf to the cries of my heart.

I will choose surrender.

And He will bring the victory.

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2 thoughts on “Things That Keep You Afloat

  1. And this is exactly why God gave you this job. You are exactly what they need. I have been that wild-eyed person myself and Peter doing what you did for this lady, is exactly what pulled me back the safety of the shore again.

  2. Thank You Again….for sharing The Beauty and Hope from You and Your Life. I am Continually Convinced The Lord Uses You In SOOOO Many ways … (some you see and experience and many you are Not aware of) and Will Continue Because YOU REALLY GET IT…what is Most Important….LOVING Others AS JESUS LOVES…You Are Loved and Freely Give that Love to The Ones Who Need it MOST. I Thank GOD for YOU in Those Lives.

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