Last week was sunny,
last night I got to cuddle an infant,
today has been lovely,
I still have two more days of weekend ahead of me,
and God is good. So, so good.
All is well.
I spent today with Brittany.
After I woke up.
At 2:30 p.m.
But in my defense, I was up until 4:30 a.m. last night. I’m not sure how I wasn’t tired. Pretty sure it was supernatural. 😉 Or possibly it had something to do with the energy drink and copious quantities of candy I ate last night.
So, yes. I woke up this morning (read: afternoon), took some Peptol Bismol, and Brittany and I headed to one of my favorite places to buy books: The Goodwill.
Mom used to say, “Tamara, you have to give a book a chance. If by the fourth chapter you’re still not interested in it, then you don’t have to finish it.”
I know what Mom was trying to do, and I’m sure she thought she was giving me sound advice, but she was wrong. I can tell within the first few pages whether or not it’s a book I’m going to be able to get on board with. And so that’s what I spent a couple hours doing this afternoon, while Brittany looked at the baby clothes section. Inspired, undoubtedly, by the aforementioned newborn. ; )
We also hit up Metropolitan Market for some grapes and mushrooms. Because we have been craving both lately.
I bought four packages of mushrooms.
When the cashier was checking me out, she said, “You must be making a recipe that requires a lot of mushrooms!”
To which I responded, “…No. I just really like mushrooms.”
And then she tried to backpedal and talk about how, “…Oh. Oh! Oh, uh, well, they’re really good for you!”
It made me giggle inwardly.
I have been reading The God Catchers lately, and I love it.
A couple nights ago, I came across this passage: “If you insist on retaining the rulership over your life, God will just evacuate and wait until something dies and dependency is re-created.”
Maybe I would’ve read that before as God being controlling or threatening in some way, but now when I read that, I find so much comfort in it.
I don’t want God to allow anything (even my own hopes, dreams, and plans for my life) to become lord over my life. I don’t want to do a single second of life without God’s hand in mine. Life apart from Him is not worth it. And life with Him? It’s beautiful. It’s magical and full of potential and anything but mundane. Every day is alive with possibility when I’m following where He leads. And no moment, not a single second, is lonely or scary when my heart belongs to Him. No matter what life brings, I know I will be okay because nothing will change the fact that I am His. And nothing matters as much as that.
I posted that quote on Instagram, and I wrote this caption for it: “And it’s because He loves us. Even when it hurts, Lord, I welcome anything that will draw me closer to You. Thank You, Jesus, that You pursue us. Unfailingly. Thank You that You are good and holy and that all You do is motivated by love. Thank You that we can trust You even when things don’t make sense. Help us to remember You are worthy of praise- always.”
I don’t know what God is doing in my life right now, but it is bigger than me and more than I could take credit for and it is amazing and beautiful. And I’m happy. Not every moment of every day is easy or good, but I am happy. I am so happy. Because God is helping me to trust and love Him more. And with a head and heart consumed with love for my Lord and with ultimate trust in His plan for my life, nothing can touch me.
I was reading in the Bible the other night that God promises that not a single hair on our heads will be harmed (Luke 21:18).
But at the same time, people who love God suffer and die every day.
And so I have to ask myself, what truth am I going to give more power to:
What I see before me? The truth that Christians still suffer?
Or the truth that God promises to protect us and provide for us?The truth that He spoke and found significant enough to put in the Bible?
Which truth is going to be bigger in my life? And what it comes down to is this: Does God lie?
No, He doesn’t.
And so, regardless of what I perceive, I trust and know that He keeps His promises. Which must mean that there’s more to this life than we realize or understand right now.
Our suffering, while legitimate, does not look the same through heaven’s eyes. And I find so much comfort in that.