I was minding my own business.
I was sitting during worship, nursing a cup of tea, feeling just fine.
And then I started weeping.
It started with this line: “Then bursting forth in glorious Day…”
I’ve heard it a million times, but there, as I sat completely unsuspecting of what was to come, suddenly something inside of me felt that light- the light of His overcoming death, the light of His being with us, the light of Him calling me His own.
And I wept.
And when I asked myself what was behind the tears, I found this sentence repeating itself in my head: “No one will ever love me like You do.”
And for once, that thought didn’t feel terrifying and lonely; I felt grateful. Held and safe and in awe of the God who promises to never leave me.
I don’t know if I’ve ever cried from a place of wonder at how He loves me. I don’t know if I’ve ever cried with gratitude.
Oh, how it hurts, this life.
Oh, how held I am in the midst of it.
And so, after I prayed over my heart during our first song: “Bless the Lord, O my soul…”,
after I came to Him honest and broken and admitting I don’t love Him the way I should,
after I asked Him to help me love Him,
after I sang about how He rose from the grave,
after I felt the lightness of Him invade my soul and fill me up with a sense of being deeply loved,
after I wondered at the tears pouring down my face…
After all of that, I realized, it’s Father’s Day.
And I’m still Someone’s little girl.